so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
