I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
