3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
