What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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