you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
