Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize