Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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