So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
