hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
