I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
