My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
one might say we're banned from that church
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
