I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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