plz talk dirty to me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
