and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
