Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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