porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
