someone get that fucking seahorse.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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