I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
