break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
