My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
