There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
