My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
