its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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