cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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