So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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