apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
