As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
