The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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