This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
