I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize