whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
