Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Someone signed my nipple.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
