I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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