a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
