that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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