Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
