This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
