I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
