well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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