They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
