I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
