mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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