her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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