Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
