I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
