I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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