Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
