don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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