Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
