sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
