If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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