whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
