I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
