NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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