I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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