so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
