Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
