ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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