Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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