Whod you bang
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize